Friends,
I hope you had a wonderful weekend.
In the US, today is a national holiday known as Memorial Day.
It’s a day for marking the beginning of the summer, for enjoying time off work, for taking a special time to be with family, eat good food, and most of all to remember the deaths of those we know and love who died in combat and military service.
I’m posting a note from last year that still resonates with me today, I hope it does for you as well.
I have a complicated relationship with this holiday. As the child of a career Army Officer, as a military academy graduate, and former Army Officer myself I have no shortage of friends, colleagues, and classmates to grieve on this day.
And as an Army Officer turned Pacifist, I grieve double for the totality of carnage, death, and destruction that all war has caused.
And so I want to officer 3 short reflections I carry with me through this holiday every year as I’ve learned to grieve, process, and grow.
1. Momento Mori.
This is a phrase made common by the Stoics. Roughly translated it means, “Remember, you die.”
I’ve seen far too many lives cut short by the horrors of war, or the larger realities of military life. Being around the military since I was born has taught me the fragility of life, but also the sacredness of every moment I have.
I am often reminded that death looms near, but it is also a guide, teacher, and source of inspiration.
Remembering that life is not infinite and that it is a gift emboldens action and self-honesty. Today, where am I not fully honoring the gift that is this one precious and sacred life?
2. Enjoy Rest
Aside from being a day of remembrance and grief, it’s also the beginning of summer. In many parts of the world this means time off of work, time with family, and time exploring passions.
If I can combine this natural social rhythm with the practice of Momento Mori, I’m left with a perfect opportunity to take full advantage of the next few months to live deeply, passionately, and in the present.
It’s a time to practice the art of leisure, to linger after great meals, and spend quality time with kids, parents, and friends.
These are the moments that one day will no longer be, and in many respects there is nothing more important.
And so here’s to enjoying the many late summer nights in the backyard, around the pool, and experiencing travel with those we love.
What a more perfect way to honor those who have come before, and the wisdom of Momento Mori.
3. Hope
Finally, I reflect on hope.
I rarely find someone in the military or a military family that hopes for war.
A soldier—and a soldier’s family—knows all too well the costs of war. Even more, those who have lived under the reality of war in their homeland know the cost of war.
And so I always take time to remember not only the soldiers I knew, but also everyone effected by the violence, displacement, and trauma of war the world over. The families displaced, the futures cut short, the lives crushed by the violence of others.
And I think of the efforts and work happening all over the globe to find new ways of solving differences, at containing violence, of growing our capacities of compassion and empathy and moving beyond the instincts of fear and attachment that perpetuate death.
And I think of a famous line by Dr. Martin Luther King,
“There comes a time when one must take the position that is neither safe nor politic nor popular…I believe today that there is a need for all people of goodwill to come with a massive act of conscience and say in the words of the old Negro spiritual, ‘We ain’t goin’ study war no more.’”
—Dr. Martin Luther King
And now more than ever—with the capabilities of global leisure travel, an awareness of the consequences of nuclear war, and the emergence of voices normalizing compassion, non-duality, and inclusivity, I am filled with hope.
I believe we’re truly close to a world beyond war. And I believe that when we practice truly grieving the ones war has taken, when we consider the finiteness of life and how we want to spend it, and look to the hope of a world beyond war, this day becomes a teacher and friend and beginning of something new.
Be well friends,
Matt